Is it BDSM or is it abuse?

This blog post has been a long time coming.  What finally triggered the desire to actually go ahead and write it, was seeing this list on A Good Womans Dirty Mind today.

At 20 I was stupid enough to mistake sexual abuse for BDSM.  I was young, I was inexperienced, I was uninformed.  Sadly I am sure that I’m not the only person who has been in a situation such as the one I will go on to discuss, and it is my hope that by posting about my own experience, it will make people realise that lines can be blurred, particularly when we’re younger.

THIS is why adult sex ed is vitally important, and I wish now I had decided to do this post as part of #AdultSexEdMonth in June!  It’s not just important for adults, it’s important for young people who, while they are ‘educated’ about sex, only seem to hear about the black and white of sex.  Have sex when you are in love.   Sex without consent is rape.  Use condoms.  While all of that is important, not enough is done to educate about the blurry muddle in-between.

Nothing is said about the fact emotional/mental manipulation can be used, that people take advantage, that it often isn’t until you are deep in the middle of it you realise just how wrong the situation is.

This is my story.  Yes, it’s long, but something like this can’t be covered in a few paragraphs.

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